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Page 6


  Ethan was calm and, for him, I no longer existed. “Don’t avoid my question, mom.”

  The woman tried to be stern, but her admonition fell flat. “Ethan, where are your manners? Introduce your friend first.” I saw a twinkle in her green eyes that looked just like her son’s. I guessed she was in her late thirties, because she looked a lot younger than my parents. Her brown hair was pulled up in a ponytail, and her eyes seemed alert but tired. And, while I wasn’t the best judge, she appeared to be too thin. Maybe she’d been working too hard or hadn’t gotten much sleep. “And why don’t we go have a cup of coffee at the kitchen table? You’re making me nervous.”

  His jaw clenched but he acquiesced. “This is a friend from school, Valerie Quinn.”

  Well, this was awkward. There was some weird tension growing between Ethan and his mother, and here I was, right in the middle of it. I just smiled as sweetly as I could and said hi. Then I tried to find some unobtrusive way to just blend into the background.

  His mother led Ethan by the elbow and even grabbed my hand on her other side, urging us to the kitchen. She hadn’t even removed her coat yet. Once we were in that dark but cozy room, she set her purse on the counter and then slid her long brown coat off her shoulders, draping it over a chair. She walked over to the coffee pot and pulled out a cup from the cabinet above it. “I see you’re meeting nice girls for a change.” His mother’s laugh was nervous. I couldn’t quite figure that one out.

  “Mom.” Ethan was pressing.

  She turned around, coffee in hand and said, “Would you sit down, please? Good grief. You’re making me feel like a hen being scoped out by a wolf.”

  And I wasn’t helping. I knew that much. I sat down, though, and I did it quickly, because there was some weird dynamic going on between him and his mom. I started to think better of it, though, and thought maybe I could use this moment as an excuse to study. “I can give you some time alone.”

  Ethan gave me a look and then shook his head. “You can stay.” His gaze moved to his mother again.

  She was nervous and jumpy. She took a sip of her coffee and then sat down. Ethan joined her. She took a deep breath and said, “You remember Jason?”

  I could tell this question upset Ethan, but he managed to rein it in. “Yeah. You were dating him last summer.”

  His mother looked down at her cup of coffee as though it would understand her better than her son. Both her hands were wrapped around it as she looked into the warm brown liquid. “I was with him last night.” She took a deep breath and forced herself to look in her son’s eyes. “I love him, Ethan. He’s going to move in here.”

  I couldn’t tell what Ethan was thinking. He had a poker face the likes of which I’d never seen before. He was cool when he said, “At least you’re falling in love with nice guys for a change.”

  His mother started laughing. She seemed relieved. “Have you had breakfast?”

  He nodded. “Val and I are going to Brad’s later.”

  “But I haven’t even seen you.”

  His visage didn’t change. His eyes were cold, even since making the joke he had with his mother. Something was going on and I wasn’t sure what it was. He didn’t apologize or explain, and I didn’t know how good an idea it was for the two of us to return to Brad’s house. But I wasn’t going to say a word. He stood and looked at me. “Val, I have to see some old friends, and I don’t want you to be bored. If you’re still tired, you can sleep in my bed.”

  What? So he was just going to leave for a while? Hadn’t we seen some of his old friends the night before…and weren’t we going to do it again later? He didn’t answer the questions in my eyes, instead bending over and kissing his mother on the cheek. “Be back in a while.” Before either of us could say another word, he was in the living room putting on his jacket and then walking out the door.

  That was…bizarre, to say the least. I wasn’t sure how to take that, but his mother seemed to just blow it off. “Silly boy.” She got up to freshen her coffee, but I knew it was an excuse to avoid eye contact…not that I blamed her. “He’ll be back in a week and can visit all his old friends then.” When she sat back at the table, she asked, “So, Valerie, how did you and Ethan meet?”

  Well, Ethan might not have cared enough about his mom to stick around and make her feel loved, but I liked her right from the start. Sure, she seemed a little…broken, but she seemed kind and thoughtful, and I was beginning to wonder why those qualities hadn’t rubbed off on her son. But I also knew something was eating at Ethan having to do with something going on with his mom, and maybe since I was his guest, he didn’t want to make a bigger scene than he already had and decided to leave and cool off. I had no problems talking with his mother, though. “In our history class.” No way was I going to tell her I’d planned the meeting. I would have been too embarrassed with that revelation.

  Ethan’s mother stared into the black coffee mug in between her hands. “You probably think Ethan and I have a strange relationship.” She looked up to make contact with my eyes. “But I love him so much. He’s my only child…” Her voice got quieter. “Looks just like his father.”

  I sucked in a quick breath. How I wanted to ask about his father, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I figured if Ethan had wanted me to know, he would have already told me. Otherwise, it was probably none of my business, no matter how nosy I felt. The poor woman looked like she needed some good news, though, something to make her feel better. “He loves you too. I can tell. He worried about you and called all over trying to find you.”

  “He’s a sweet boy.” She rolled her neck as though trying to get the kinks out of it. “Is his band going to play for you?”

  “They did…last night. They’re great. Ethan really knows his way around a guitar. I’m so glad we met. He’s become my best friend.”

  She got up and pulled the carafe off of the warmer base of the coffee maker. She brought it to the table to refill her cup. “You love him too, don’t you?” It was as though she could see my soul. How did she know? Or was it that Ethan just had that effect on young women? “Would you like some more?”

  I shook my head. “No…no, thank you.” I felt stunned. She turned around and replaced the carafe. As she sat down, I asked, “How could you tell?” Or had it just been a lucky guess?

  She smiled and acted like she was going to place her hand on mine, but she didn’t. “By the way your eyes light up when you talk about him.” She took a sip of her coffee. “It’s hard to explain.” Her smile widened again. “I’m glad, though. Ethan has never really found a girl to love him. He needs that.”

  Whoa. First of all, I found that hard to believe. Ethan was absolutely gorgeous, mysterious, smart, and funny. He downplayed it, but I was convinced he already had a legion of fans, no matter what his mother thought. And then there was the problem that I often wondered that he didn’t feel the same way about me. So I said, “Yes, but we’re only friends.”

  She smiled, a gentle, tender look that just touched the corner of her eyes. “Are you so sure? Ethan has never even bothered to introduce me to the girls he’s dated in the past.”

  I grinned back, sure I was right. “Well, we’re just friends, and I’m sure that’s why he did.”

  She chuckled. “You’re right there. I just hope you’re a good influence on him.” She let out a long sigh. “Last year in high school, he hung around with the wrong crowd, if you know what I mean. He and Brad have been good friends for a long time, and I like Brad, but forming this band was Ethan’s saving grace. He and Brad hooked up with Zane and Nick around spring break last year, and suddenly Ethan cared again. It was such a relief.” She took another sip of coffee. “All those kids are basically good kids. And I can tell you’re a nice girl.” This time she did pat my hand. “I hope he decides to stay friends with you.”

  I giggled, unable to help myself any longer. “That makes two of us.”

  She kept talking; why, I didn’t know. “Ethan really didn’t want to
go to college at first. But I asked him to go for one year, and then if he didn’t like it, he could quit. He barely made it through high school, but college is so important nowadays, and…well, his college is paid for, as long as he wants to go, and my father is giving him spending money now and then. I know he wants to see Ethan succeed in college. I never went, except for one summer when I got my CNA certification.” She was getting close to something uncomfortable, so she switched gears. “What made you decide to go to college, Valerie?”

  I nodded. “My parents wanted me to go. My grades in high school were pretty good, and I have no idea what I want to do for a living. Right now, my major is undecided, and I have no idea what I want to major in, but my mom and dad think I’ll figure it out in school. Dad said if I don’t go to college, I’ll have no focus and won’t be able to get a decent job.”

  “He’s probably right there.” She took another sip of her coffee. “You look pretty tired. Did the two of you get any sleep at all last night?”

  She was right. I was tired. “Maybe I will take a nap…if that’s okay with you.”

  “Of course.”

  “Thank you, Mrs.—is it Miss or Mrs.?” I didn’t want to be presumptuous. I’d barely met the woman, and Ethan’s introduction hadn’t exactly been stellar.

  “Which sounds better?” That was weird. I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

  “Just call me whatever’s easier for you. You can call me June if you’d like. Or even mom if you’re comfortable with that. Brad and Nick call me mom.”

  Maybe she didn’t like being called by a title at all, so if she wanted me to call her that, I would. “Okay, mom.” I giggled.

  “Sleep tight, Valerie.”

  I felt a little awkward calling her mom, but she seemed happy that I’d made that choice. I thought maybe after a little while, it would feel like second nature to call her that. And, if not, I could always call her by her real name. As I drifted off to sleep, my head buried in Ethan’s pillow, I felt myself unable to fully grasp all the surreal happenings of the last twenty-four hours. Little did I know, it wasn’t over yet.

  * * *

  “Wake up, sleepy head.” Ethan greeted me from his bedroom doorway. “Ready to go to Brad’s?”

  How long had I slept? It was still light outside, so it couldn’t have been too late. “Let me at least sit up. What time is it?”

  “Two o’clock. You awake enough to go?”

  “Well, yeah, but can I at least do my hair?”

  He rolled his eyes, but I could tell he was just giving me a hard time. “How many hours will that take?”

  I slid out from his bed and slipped into my shoes. “Ten minutes, tops.”

  “I’m timing you.”

  I stuck out my tongue and then started rifling through my suitcase for my brush. I still couldn’t believe I’d let him see me without makeup earlier. Granted, a lot of it was still on because I hadn’t washed it off the night before, but still… Now I wanted to touch it up, make sure my hair was okay, and I wanted to brush my teeth too. I had a new case of morning breath.

  Less than ten minutes later, I was bounding down the stairs. I slid my coat on and said goodbye to mom as we walked out the door.

  After we were in the truck, Ethan said, “My mom likes you. That’s good. She doesn’t always like my friends. She never says anything, you know, but I can tell when she doesn’t like one of my friends.”

  “I like her too, Ethan.” I left it at that. I could tell Ethan’s mom was a little insecure, and I wasn’t sure why, but she was a nice, loving person, and I couldn’t help but like her back. I didn’t want to discuss his mom with him, though, especially when I wasn’t quite sure what the dynamic of their relationship was.

  “And don’t ask what I was doing when I left.”

  I felt confused. “I already know what you were doing. You said—”

  “I know what I said.” And then I saw that bitter look he’d always had in his eyes surface again. I just shut my mouth. He didn’t want to talk about it, but I wondered why he’d even brought it up now.

  A few minutes later, we got to Brad’s house. I steeled myself, hoping my memories of the night before had been exaggerated in my mind. You can do this, Valerie. Yes, I could do it.

  * * *

  “Hey, guys, I can’t believe I didn’t show you this shit already.” Yeah, Brad was still as hot as he’d been the night before. Only this time, he was literally hot, little beads of sweat forming on his forehead from two hours of playing in the band. It wasn’t as cold in the garage as it had been the night before, but I still could barely understand how he could be that overheated.

  He walked across the garage and moved a couple of boxes. Then he opened one and pulled out a bottle of rum. “And I’ve got two twelve-packs of Coke chillin’ in the fridge.” He lowered his voice and got closer to the group. “Mom’s working tonight…leaves around six-thirty, so we can get fuckin’ wasted.”

  Ethan slid his guitar so it hung on his back. “Wait a minute. Do you even drink, Val?”

  Uh-oh. He’d already figured out my goody-two-shoes nature, and I thought I’d hidden it so well. “Umm…” God, I was going to sound so uncool. “I can be your designated driver.”

  “Perfect.” Well, maybe that wasn’t so hard after all.

  Brad hid the bottle back in the box and returned to the group. Then Ethan said, “Guys, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” Zane nodded but said nothing. “There’s a reason why Val’s our designated driver. She’s fucking brilliant. And I hate to even admit it, but she figured out something none of us other numbnuts did. The name Bullet? Fucking cool, right?”

  “Hell, yeah.”

  “Yeah…and it’s taken.”

  Brad snarled. “So? I’ve never heard of ‘em, so what?”

  “Do you really want somebody’s sloppy seconds?”

  Brad started laughing. “Fuck…not when you put it that way.”

  “Exactly. So…close your eyes and tell me…what do you think of Fully Automatic?”

  Brad and Nick were quiet, so quiet. No. I was sure that meant they hated it. But then Nick nodded his head. Brad was the wild card, though. After a few moments, he said, “Yeah…that’ll work.”

  “You don’t sound convinced.”

  “I just need some time to try it on…know what I mean?”

  “Yeah,” Ethan said, “that’s cool, man.”

  Brad slapped him on the back. “Damn straight.”

  “So let’s work out this next song.” They spent the next two hours perfecting a song they’d been working on. I hadn’t really noticed any of their lyrics before, but I was able to hear these in scrutinizing detail. And, because their sound was so rockin’, there was no way I was going to criticize their lyrics…but they weren’t deep, and they sounded pretty cliché. There weren’t any sentiments in the words I hadn’t heard dozens of times before. I had gathered from what Ethan had told me before that usually he and Brad wrote their own lyrics to the songs they sang, but this one wound up being a collaboration. I just sat back and listened to them work things out. They got the music down first—solo included—and then started writing the lyrics.

  “Down on my knees…how’s that?”

  Ethan said, “Yeah, yeah…that’s good, and it rhymes with me too.”

  Brad nodded. Zane and Nick were working on percussion, trying to perfect the rhythm of the song while Brad and Ethan sat on two other lawn chairs. I sat next to them both, keeping my mouth shut.

  Then Ethan said, “Oh…this is better: ‘I’m begging you please’.”

  “Yeah.”

  Oh, God…I couldn’t help it anymore. I’d been quiet long enough. “Um…guys…can I give you a suggestion?”

  Oh, shit. It had come out of my mouth. I hadn’t been able to stop it. Both of them grew quiet and looked at me. Ethan said, “Uh…sure.”

  I took a deep breath. They were my friends, and there was nothing wrong with constructive criticism,
right? Especially if it was given with care. At least that’s what I told myself, so I moved forward. I didn’t want to be harsh or mean, so I just said, “Your music is awesome. It’s so original. Some of the words here, though…they’re kind of…”

  “Generic.” Thank goodness Brad said it before I had to. I just nodded my head. “Yeah, you’re right.” He looked at Ethan and then back to me. “Any ideas?”

  Oh, double shit. I couldn’t think on the fly. I just knew unoriginal when I heard it. I felt like a ladybug under a magnifying glass. But then it came to me. “Your words are a knife that twist with every breath.”

  Ethan smiled. Then he looked skeptical as he started to say, “That’s—”

  “Wow. Not perfect, but…I like the metaphor.”

  Oh, great. Like Brad needed to look even better to me than he already did. But it couldn’t be helped. He scored points with me—not because he liked my words, but because he knew what a metaphor was.

  “Do you care if I use it…even if we change it a bit?”

  “No…please.” Ethan didn’t seem too thrilled about it, but he and Brad started working around the knife metaphor and wound up completely changing the words. Suddenly, though, with just that one little suggestion, the words became riddled with meaning, and not just superficial dribble. It was no longer a bunch of words I’d heard a million times before. It went from being okay to being pretty special. And by the time they were done, even Ethan was happy.

  Brad’s mom popped in the garage to say goodbye. Brad introduced me to her. I guessed she was a nurse because she was wearing scrubs. She kissed Brad on the cheek and then she noticed me. “I thought it was just the boys tonight.”

  “Oh, mom, this is Ethan and Zane’s friend from college—Valerie Quinn.” Wow. He’d remembered my last name too.

  “Nice to meet you, Valerie. I’m Barbara. Now, Brad, there’s some leftover turkey and mashed potatoes in the fridge. I wouldn’t complain if you all ate it. Just put the dishes in the dishwasher, please.”