Love and Lust (Small Town Secrets Book 2) Read online

His response was so soft, I could barely hear it. “Yeah, I think so.” He leaned over and kissed me sweetly, almost with an unforeseen chasteness, and when we opened our eyes, I thought he was going to drop on the pillow, he looked so sleepy.

  After he lay back to rest his head, I leaned over him to reach the alarm clock on his side of the bed. If I weren’t satiated, my nipples brushing the few tiny hairs on his chest would have been stimulating. “What time do you need to get up?”

  “Doesn’t matter.”

  Bad answer. I needed a finite time with him, because my emotions were wreaking havoc on my brain. “What time do you need to be at work?”

  “Anytime between seven and eight is fine.”

  “I usually get up around six. Is that enough time?”

  “More than enough.”

  I got ready to curl up next to him but decided it would be best to shut off the bedroom light first. I didn’t give a shit about the ones still on in the rest of the house—but the lights on in my bedroom would eventually wake me up if I didn’t shut them off before falling asleep. So, reluctantly, I lumbered out of bed and switched off the light before snuggling up next to Ryan’s warm, strong body.

  And I vowed not to dream about anything before waking in the morning.

  Chapter Eight

  I didn’t know how much time had passed since I’d drifted off to sleep, but something caused me to stir.

  Something wasn’t quite right.

  Forcing my eyelids open, I saw that Ryan lay next to me, his elbow on the bed propping up his head. I almost gasped, thinking he was staring at me. It was hard to tell in the darkness of the room, but the light spilling in from the bathroom allowed me to make out part of his features. “What’s going on?”

  “Sorry. I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  Now. Now would be the perfect time to hand him his jeans, tell him I had a good time, and urge him to drive home safely. Once more, though, my tongue double-crossed me. “Does the bed feel uncomfortable?”

  “No, it’s fine.”

  Ah…now I understood. He definitely was ready to leave but was trying to be sensitive, so I tried not to smile as I asked a question designed to pull it out of him. “What’s on your mind?” He didn’t say anything at first, so I prompted him. “I promise I have a thick skin. Nothing you say will bother me.”

  But I was wrong again—and his answered nearly floored me. “Why me?”

  God…I was sleepy—almost groggy—and his words made me feel a little vulnerable. “What do you mean?”

  “You could have any guy you wanted. Why me?”

  I was beginning to sense that Ryan had a huge heart, and he did a shitty job protecting it. His sweetness spoke to me, and there was no way I could tell him that I’d been ready for a hop in the sack, and he was so fucking hot, I couldn’t resist him. I toyed with the idea of putting myself out there a little as well by telling him something most people didn’t know—playing an ace card, so to speak. Before I resorted to those tactics, though, I’d try something simpler that was just as honest without sounding shitty. “I’m really attracted to you. There’s something about you, Ryan…”

  “But you don’t even know me.” He sat up in bed. “Did you just want to jump across to the wrong side of the tracks for the night?”

  Jesus. When he put it that way, I could see why he’d think that—but he was wrong. Meaning I liked it on the other side of the tracks, and this hadn’t been my first time there. “Well, no…”

  “So is tonight it then?”

  Shit. This was turning out to be way heavier than I’d expected. And Ryan was way more perceptive than I’d given him credit for.

  I found that attractive.

  “Do you want it to be?”

  He didn’t hesitate. “I asked you first. What do you want?”

  I wanted to sleep at the moment—but I’d initiated this conversation when I asked what was on his mind. “Isn’t this a little deep for this time of night?”

  He sat up all the way, moving the pillow to his lap and laying his arms on top. “Maybe…”

  “Why can’t we just see where things go?”

  In the darkness, his shrug could have gone unnoticed—except he had my rapt attention in spite of my fatigue. “I guess…but can’t you already see where it will go?”

  Unable to help myself, I took the bait. “Where?”

  “You’ll keep me around as long as I’m entertaining. Once the shine’s worn off and you’re tired of me because I’m not in your circle, you’ll kick me to the curb.”

  Like I was objecting to something a DA said in court, I sat up and snapped, “That’s not true.”

  But it was. And Ryan Craig was no fucking idiot.

  When he spoke again, his voice was quieter than usual, so I had to strain to hear him. “It’s not?”

  The attorney in me, revved up, refused to acknowledge what he’d already figured out. “What makes you so sure that’s what would happen?”

  “Think about it. I know we’re attracted to each other. We wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t true. But think about it—you’re a lawyer; I’m a construction worker. You have to wear nice clothes to work, talk professionally. Nobody cares what I wear at work, what I say. Your friends are like you, and my friends are like me. I saw the way you looked at the bottle of wine I bought. I get it. We’re two totally different people.” He shifted, trying to see my eyes through the darkness in the bedroom. “How would you feel if you introduced me to some of your friends? Or would you even do that?”

  “Jesus, Ryan, we just met. I haven’t even thought about stuff like that.”

  “Maybe you should.”

  I sat in stunned silence. This man, one I’d underestimated, was partially correct. I’d been attracted to his rugged machismo, dismissing his mind entirely—and yet he’d just bested me intellectually. He was no dummy, and I had to give him credit for that.

  It made me want to dig deeper. “Then maybe we need to get to know each other better. So tell me more about yourself.” God, I sounded like a job interviewer. A little late to be asking for his qualifications.

  “That’s part of the problem, Samantha. I don’t necessarily want to tell you all there is to know about me right now.” Ouch. “I just don’t think you’ll give this a fair chance to even get to the point where I might feel like talking. Opening up. Fucking like animals doesn’t necessarily make me trust you, so why should I tell you everything there is to know about me? Don’t you know enough?”

  On all counts, he was right.

  “Hey.” As much as I’d wanted a simple one-night stand, I definitely didn’t want hurt feelings or anger. Leaning back, I switched on the lamp. But I felt naked suddenly, so I pulled the sheet up over my breasts before stroking his cheek, knowing it was time to play that ace card. I was about to bare a part of myself that most people didn’t see—and, as stupid as it seemed, I felt like Ryan deserved at least that much from me. “If I had a flat tire on my car, would you change it?” I rested my hand in my lap to stop all this from feeling more uncomfortable than it already was.

  He looked at me as if I were speaking another language. “What?”

  “I know it sounds silly, but just answer the question. If I had a flat tire, would you change it?”

  “Yeah, of course…why wouldn’t I?”

  “What about a leaky faucet? Would you fix it?”

  “I’d try. But what are you getting at? You don’t want me to fix something for you. That’s not why you invited me over here.”

  I couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped my lips. “Don’t worry. You’re right.” I drew in a deep breath. “You want to know why I’m attracted to you. Here’s why. I get this sense that you’re a good guy—and I don’t know what that’s based on, but your answers just proved to me what I thought.”

  “If you think you can trust me.”

  I raised an eyebrow but I knew I could trust him.

  “When I w
as in college, an undergrad, I lived with this guy my junior year. Clive. He was a business major—and that should have been my first clue. I should have stuck with pre-law and poli-sci guys, but I thought I was in love. When I moved in with Clive, I gave up the luxury of four roommates who helped pay the bills. Clive was in this dinky little apartment with shitty plumbing, but I didn’t care because I was with the guy I thought I was going to marry.”

  “Marry?”

  “Hey—I was barely twenty-one. And stupid. I worked part-time as a cashier at a gas station for minimum wage, so I was dead broke most of the time.” Ryan’s gaze made me feel like he could see my soul, so I allowed my eyes to drift to the sheet where I stared at the pattern on the white fabric, trying to force myself to talk about this bullshit that I’d kept to myself for longer than I could remember. “Clive. He was a dream guy to a lot of girls. A real catch. My roommates said they were jealous ‘cause I landed this guy who was super cute, good in bed, really intelligent. And someday he’d be worth a fortune.”

  “But you’re not with him now.”

  “Yeah. Wanna know why?”

  “He wasn’t a real catch?”

  I made eye contact, appreciating that he was quoting me. “Right. But we split because he wouldn’t change my tire.”

  Ryan’s lips curled up in the cutest way. “You broke up with your boyfriend because he wouldn’t change your tire?”

  “Yeah—because it represented everything about him that I needed to know. Despite what it looked like, we weren’t partners. We were glorified fuck buddies who lived together. I did shit for him all the time—I ironed his fucking shirts. Hell, I did his laundry from start to finish. I looked over his papers to correct his shitty spelling and grammar. I made dinner when I was home, made the bed, all that. So, anyway, I’d gone to the laundromat on a Saturday morning and got home just in time to get ready for work. When I got out of the car, I heard a hissing noise. It was my rear driver’s side tire, going flat fast before my eyes. So when I was carrying the laundry basket inside, I told him about my tire—and he couldn’t even fucking pry his eyes away from his game. Call of Duty or some shit like that. I told him I needed to get to work and he said, ‘Didn’t your dad get you Triple A or something? Just call them.’ What an asshole. So I just dumped his clothes on the floor next to the bed, got dressed, and then changed the goddamned tire myself. Then I drove to work and got there ten minutes late, my hands so filthy I had to scrub the shit out of them.

  “I decided right then and there that I’d never rely on any man to help me out ever again. And I moved back in with my girlfriends the next semester. God, I was so angry that day.”

  “You sound like you’re still angry.”

  “Yeah, I guess I kind of do.”

  “Not all guys are like that.”

  “Yeah, I know. But I’ll never ask again—because I’m strong enough and smart enough to do it myself.” I took a deep breath to calm myself because Ryan was right—I could feel that old anger bubbling inside. “Back to the original point…which is that whoever I’m with, I want—hell, I need—him to take care of things, to…help me when I need it. I don’t want a guy whose fingernails look nicer than mine because all he did was play computer games all day. I don’t need a man who’d rather get on a treadmill than run down the river walk.” I reached over with my hand, placing it on Ryan’s. “And I sense that in you—that you would change my stupid tire, and I doubt I’d even have to ask.” I sighed, running my free hand through my short hair. “I’m probably not making any sense.” But your honor, I rest my case.

  “Yeah. You do.”

  “So now the shoe’s on the other foot.”

  “You mean, why you?”

  “Yeah.”

  He shook his head. “Like you even have to ask.”

  “I do.”

  “Who wouldn’t want you, Samantha? You just gave all kinds of reasons why any guy would want to be with you. You can take care of yourself—some women think they need a man to do something like change a tire, but you did it yourself. The kind of woman you are, I’m surprised you even admitted to me that you would like a man to do that for you. You’re strong; you’re smart; you’re sexy as hell. What guy wouldn’t want you? There are plenty of whiny, clingy women out there for guys who like that. A woman who can take care of herself is attractive.” He patted my hand. “Low maintenance is good.”

  With praise like that, it was hard not to blush. “Then why don’t we just enjoy ourselves? See where this goes? No pressure, no expectations.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “So we can see each other again, right?”

  I said, “Of course.” And I really meant it.

  When he leaned over and kissed me gently, I knew what I’d divulged was enough for now. He wrapped his arms around me, nestling my head against his chest. What I’d said to him earlier had been the bald-faced truth, and part of me loved how I felt safe and secure in his arms.

  The bigger question was how I’d feel in the morning.

  Chapter Nine

  Fuck.

  I jolted straight up in my bed at the insistent, rude blare of my alarm clock. When I turned to smack the snooze button, I saw Ryan lying on his side, his back to me. A wide smile crept up on my face, surprising me that I was actually happy to still see him there. After reaching over him to press the snooze button, I wrapped my arm around his warm body.

  “Morning,” he muttered.

  I couldn’t help myself when I kissed him on his back. “Want some breakfast?”

  “Nah. Don’t worry about me. I can get something on the way to work.”

  “If you change your mind, I might have something in the kitchen.” Closing my eyes, I tried to doze back off but now I was wide awake. I kissed him between the shoulder blades again and then sat up, stretching my neck and arms.

  Walking over to my dresser, I grabbed a t-shirt and threw it on. “Did you want to shower?”

  “Maybe in a little bit. I’ll sleep a little longer, if you don’t mind getting me up when you’re done.”

  I moved to his side of the bed and shut off the alarm. Damn, even sleeping, the guy was crazy gorgeous. “See you soon.” But coffee first. I got a pot going before heading to the bathroom.

  I was tired, so I stood in the shower a long time, letting the hot beads of water pummel my skin. Normally, by this point in my day, I was plotting the cases I needed to work on, phone calls I’d have to make, and that sort of thing. But this morning?

  This morning, I was reliving the escapades from the night before.

  That wasn’t good. Ryan was meant to be a fun hop in the sack—and he had lived up to that promise—but after our late-night conversation, I couldn’t think of him any longer as just some hot guy. He was a real person.

  With a heart.

  But maybe I was fretting for nothing. For all I knew, he’d get up, take a shower, drink a cup of coffee, and then I wouldn’t see him again until something happened with his paternity case. It was possible I was creating Everest out of an ant hill. Last night, in the dark heart of night, we’d bared our souls—but now, maybe, things could go back to normal.

  So when I got out of the shower and began toweling off, I decided I’d play it as cool as possible. I’d let him take the lead and, like I’d told him last night, no pressure. Sure, he’d said last night he wanted to see me again, but I’d have to wait and see what he said in the light of day. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d had a guy do a one-eighty in the morning—and I’d be okay with that.

  Probably.

  After a little preliminary primping, I pranced back to the kitchen for my first cup of caffeine for the day before heading to the bedroom to wake Ryan up like I’d promised earlier.

  When I sat on the bed next to Ryan, I gently touched his shoulder. My bedroom was already filled with bright light forcing its way through the thin pale curtains over the windows. “Ryan, it’s almost six-thirty.”

  The way his eyelids fluttered made my heart flip. �
�Can we pretend it’s Saturday?”

  “Yeah, but your boss might not like it.”

  Through squinted eyes, he said, “Screw that. I am the boss.”

  “Do you want me to let you sleep then?”

  He forced his eyes open again. “I’m kidding. I’ll get up.”

  “There’s some coffee in the kitchen. Do you drink it?”

  “Can’t live without it.”

  “Then help yourself. Might get your engine revving.”

  “I need to get my pants on first.” I stifled a smile while he made his way to the bathroom—but I couldn’t take my eyes off his cute ass. While he was busy, I rifled through my closet to figure out what I’d wear today, a task I usually performed the night before, but it didn’t take me long to settle on a navy blue short-sleeved dress with matching pumps. Soon, Ryan exited the bathroom, jeans on, and said, “I think I’m going to get some of that coffee now.”

  “Sounds great. Help yourself. If you can’t find something you need in the kitchen, let me know.”

  My hair was already drying, but I needed to start my morning makeup routine. I could have done it anywhere, but I’d been using the bathroom mirror to do it since high school, and I wasn’t about to stop now. Opening a drawer, I took out a bottle of foundation when I heard Ryan stirring a spoon inside a coffee mug, letting me know he’d found his way around the kitchen just fine. I was blending the base into my skin when I sensed him nearby.

  I turned my head to find him leaning his body against the door jamb, holding a cup of coffee in one hand. Man, he was as scrumptious as ever—but now was not the time. I made my voice sound as calm and professional as I could. “Did you need to shower?”

  “I can wait. I’m just watching.”

  I shook my head. “I can put my makeup on in my bedroom if I need to. I don’t want you to be late to work on my account.”

  “I’m not in any hurry. Seriously. It doesn’t matter when I get there.”

  I finished smoothing the foundation on my face. “You won’t get in trouble?”

  “I’m a foreman. They usually start without me anyway, ‘cause they know what to do. As long as I’m there by eight, it’s all good.”