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  Katie laughed. “I do not.”

  “Yes, you do.” He nodded at the cocktail waitress across the room who came running in less than two minutes with another pitcher. Great—now his celebrity was going to get him treated like a king the rest of the night. Not that it was a bad thing. Johnny wasn’t too demanding, and he didn’t let it get to his head. “Listen—if you don’t pick a song, I’ll pick one for us that you’ll have to do with me. Something embarrassing from the seventies, like ‘Reunited’ by Peaches and Herb. It’d get around town so fast. Actually, yeah. Let’s do that.”

  “Are you crazy? I live here full time. No way am I doing that.”

  He slid the karaoke book in front of her. He tapped on the page covered in plastic. “Then you pick. I’m giving you ten minutes.”

  She laughed and shook her head, but she decided to look in earnest. She continued sipping the rum and Coke, because she knew it would give her a little more courage than she’d have otherwise. She flipped the page and his finger fell on three songs by Scathing Vengeance. “See what I mean? I earn residuals when places like this buy my songs for karaoke. How cool is that?”

  “And my iPod...”

  He nodded as she continued turning the pages backwards. “Video games too. It’s crazy.” A few people crowded around the table, now that they knew Johnny Church was in town. Katie kept her promise, though, and kept looking.

  His hometown fans insisted that he do one of his old songs, and the deejay agreed to let him go next. After all, Johnny was a star and visiting for a short while, but all the regulars were there every week. Johnny couldn’t resist the pleas of the crowd and wound up singing a Spawn song, one that Riley had sung in the day but that Johnny had written both the words and music to. The song was called “Tormented.” Katie had always thought it was a cliché, but she supposed every metal band had to have at least one song about how hard life was, how much it sucked, and how pain was all they ever knew. Katie knew too that it was written before Johnny had experienced real torment, and she wondered how he would write about more recent years with his new band. What would he have to say in a song about the last time he had darkened her doorstep?

  After Johnny left the stage again and began downing another beer, Katie continued looking through the book and finally settled on one of her old favorite songs—“Kiss Me Deadly” by Lita Ford. She was pretty sure she’d be too nervous to sing, but she’d be sure to slam her whole drink before the deejay called her name. She wrote it on the piece of paper, along with her name, and delivered it to the deejay before Johnny was the wiser.

  When the people surrounding the table finally dwindled away (all except one man their age who took up residence with them) and two more people had been up at the mike, Johnny turned his attention back to her. “So?”

  “So what?”

  “Well, what have you decided on? Do you wanna do a Donny and Marie song with me?” He fluttered his eyelashes in jest, grinning. “Or are you gonna choose your own song?”

  “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

  “Well, you have to take your paper up there.”

  “Already done.” He raised his eyebrows, nodding, and grinned. “But I could use another drink.”

  “On me.” He raised his hand in the air and his little cocktail waitress came running. Katie knew it didn’t hurt that he tipped her a five every time she brought something. She had a new rum and Coke for Katie in less than two minutes and another five on her tray. She smiled at Johnny, her eyes lingering a little longer than they should have, and Katie felt a smidgen of...something. She took just one sip of the drink when the deejay called her name.

  She was feeling looser, yes, but she didn’t know that she was ready. No matter—it was her turn. And she found that, after the first verse, she had fun and enjoyed herself. She didn’t make a complete ass of herself and actually hit all the notes. Her hands shook a little, but she felt grateful that the words scrolled in front of her. She didn’t have to look at Johnny or anyone else. She could simply read the words on the screen, even if she did know most of them, and sing. And as she grew more comfortable and belted out more of the song, she began questioning her song choice. And then she questioned Johnny’s as well, and just thinking about those things, she managed to get through the song without much more conscious thought. Johnny’s song choice revolved around love and even obsession—sweet and maybe directed at Katie? Katie’s was about partying and getting laid. What the hell had she been thinking?

  But she knew. As the night wore on, she felt that old flame smoldering. Three years ago, she’d thought she was over Johnny. Tonight she discovered that she was far from it. And when he sang that song for her and then she felt his eyes on her when she sang, she remembered all her old emotions.

  Chapter Five

  JOHNNY PULLED UP in front of Katie’s house. Katie was giggling, stepping off the bike, and Johnny took the twelve pack from her while she removed the helmet. She heard a dog bark down the street and realized she needed to quiet down. It was after ten, and all she needed was for one of her neighbors to send the police to her house for breaking the noise ordinance. She dug her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the door. “Hand me that,” she said, taking the twelve pack from Johnny and heading into the kitchen. As she slid the beer into the fridge, she heard Johnny’s voice from the living room. “Hey. Care if I look through your CDs and pick something?”

  “Go for it. Do you want a beer right now?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  She came back in the room and saw him kneeling in front of her CD player that sat on the middle shelf of the big bookcase that took up a good chunk of the wall across from the front door. Beneath the CD player were short shelves of dozens of albums, alphabetized from AC/DC through Rob Zombie. She had a rather large collection. The last time she counted, she had well over three hundred CDs. She hadn’t wanted to ask her insurance company if they would be covered in the event of theft or fire, but she videoed everything in her house and kept the tape in a safe deposit box in case there were any question. Katie estimated that her music collection (not including the actual CD player or the digital files she had on her iPod) was worth thousands of dollars. She didn’t know if being friends with Johnny had made music one of her passions too or if they were good friends because their love of music was something they shared in common. Whatever the case, a lot of her money went toward purchasing music.

  “Aw. You still have my first CD. ‘To Katie, my best friend forever.’ God, did you puke when you read that?”

  “No, of course not. But that’s raw, unpolished, fresh-from-the-garage stuff. I bet I could make a shitload of money if I put that up for auction on eBay.”

  Johnny feigned disgust. “Well, I suggest you at least wait until I’m back in the studio. Either that or wait till I’m dead. You’ll make more money then.”

  She sat next to him on the floor and handed him his beer, lid already removed. She playfully slapped his arm. “You’re sick.”

  “That’s why you love me.” He pulled out And All That Could Have Been, a live Nine Inch Nails CD. “Awesome. This first. I don’t think I’ve heard this one.” He slid the CD into the tray. “Oh, you’ve got some Disturbed. Haven’t heard them in a while. They’re next, I think.” He paused. “Or maybe Hendrix.”

  Katie scoffed. “Don’t you have any of this stuff?”

  He shrugged. “Somewhere. In my mom’s attic maybe. I don’t know, really. I used to. Some of it might be gone for good.” He was looking at the artwork on System of a Down’s Toxicity album, the band’s name made to look like the Hollywood sign. “This was such a great fuckin’ album.”

  “Yeah. I can’t decide if this one or Mezmerize is my favorite.”

  Already looking at another row of music, Johnny placed the CD jewel case back in its slot on the shelf. “Yeah, that was a good one too.” Katie’s eyes followed the CD into its slot.

  When she looked away from the CD, she found Johnny staring at her again, ju
st like he had earlier in the evening at Napoli. She recognized that look, though, and then she knew it wasn’t just her own emotions tugging at her heart. Johnny had the look. And it disarmed her because he’d never had that look for her. Never. She swallowed, looked down, then got up quickly. “I forgot my beer,” she said, nervous, walking to the kitchen. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

  Johnny took it in stride unfazed and continued talking over Trent Reznor’s smooth suggestive vocals. Katie didn’t hear what Johnny said, exactly, but she breathed in a few deep breaths alone in the kitchen, willing her heart to slow back down. Then she got another beer out of the fridge and twisted off the cap, even though she had no intention of drinking it. She’d already had too much to drink tonight, but fetching a bottle out of the kitchen had provided a convenient escape from the charged moment.

  When she came back in the living room, Johnny had out his first studio CD, not the garage band copy he’d made for his best friend and biggest fan. When Spawn of Satan had landed a contract, they had changed their name to “Spawn” at the insistence of their manager, dropping the hellish reference. The name still held the intent without alienating fans—that’s what their manager had said, at any rate. Their first album was also self-titled. The cover was a black background covered in flames, overlaid with a picture of the five band members in various “disinterested” rock poses, nothing atypical. “Hey, Katie. Do you have any old yearbooks around here?”

  She paused. “Yeah, I think so. Hold on a second.” She walked over to the hall closet and, just as her neatnik-self had thought, her yearbooks were stacked behind Monopoly and Life. She’d inherited the games and couldn’t bear to part with them, but she never played them. And those were the kinds of things Katie kept in her hall closet—neglected items she wanted to keep. She hadn’t actually looked at her yearbooks in at least a decade, but she knew where they were. She pulled them all out for Johnny and had no interest in reading all the insipid comments bound to be contained therein. She knew, for instance, that at least one friend had written this:

  2 good

  + 2 be

  = 4 gotten.

  Like a lot of high school friends, though, she had forgotten who had written it, and she wasn’t interested enough to dig through the pages to find out. She was, however, interested in looking at the pictures with Johnny.

  He stood up and sat on the couch. She sat next to him. “Did you want to look at senior year?”

  He nodded, and she handed him the top book. Then they started flipping through the pages. Katie wasn’t looking anymore, though, because her memory was already taking her back.

  * * *

  Spawn of Satan had started playing teen birthday parties and had even played a bar or two (with written parental permission, of course). The boys of the band were starting to believe their press, and they were living the high life. Their grades were slipping but hanging by a thread, and the principal had lectured them more than once that, since he had given them their opportunity, they shouldn’t disrespect him now by blowing off school. In fact, if they didn’t get their act together, he said, he wouldn’t let them play for prom. So they managed to keep their grades high enough. Barely. They just might graduate.

  Johnny wasn’t full of himself. No, that wasn’t what was getting under Katie’s skin as spring rolled around. It was that he wasn’t around anymore. Even when they hung out, his mind was elsewhere—in the clouds, in the music, in bed with another girl. She knew he wasn’t fully tuned in when they were spending time together anymore, even when he came over for dinner once in a while. He just wasn’t there. Katie asked him once point blank why he was acting distant, and he simply told her, “I have a lot on my mind, Katie. I’ve got dreams. I’m plotting them in my head.” So even though he wasn’t involved in their friendship for the meantime as he should have been, she satisfied herself with his answer, even though she didn’t feel fulfilled.

  But that left an opening for Riley, a guy she never would have considered before. As grounded as Johnny was, Riley was conceited and cocky. He thought he was the greatest thing to ever walk the earth, and he made sure everyone else knew it. Most of his fan base (screaming teenage girls) believed it too and their weak sighs and hopeful eyes fanned his flame. From his Levi’s that were a little too tight to accentuate his bulge to the disinterested cool chin nod he had perfected over the years, it was obvious to Katie that Riley was his own biggest fan.

  Katie was attending a party where the band was playing, and Johnny had not one or two but three adoring girls surrounding him after they finished. He had his tongue in one of their mouths before Katie could even congratulate him on a good show. She should have been used to it, but it was unexpected. To save face, she rubbed her eyes, ready to feign fatigue and go home, where she would cry herself to sleep as she had been at least two nights a week since the band went public. The friend side of her accepted Johnny and his new “lifestyle,” but the part that was falling in love with him just couldn’t take it.

  Katie stood alone by the drum kit considering how to make a graceful, inconspicuous exit when Riley sauntered up to her, leaving two whisper-thin girls pouting behind him. He lowered his eyeglasses down the bridge of his nose to look at Katie eye to eye. He draped his arm around her shoulders, and she just let him. “So how’s it goin’, Katie?” His voice was almost raspy sounding, as though he had screamed into the mike for too long tonight.

  She liked the feel of his arm. It was warm, weighty, and meaningful. But she was still looking over at Johnny who was walking away with his harem in tow, one of his hands squeezing the Asian girl’s buns. She steeled herself, willed back a burning tear and forced herself to look Riley in the eye. Her voice was low. “Good. How about you?”

  “Better now, I think.” He pushed the unnecessary sunglasses back up his nose, fully masking his eyes. He moved his lips to her ear. “I have something a little better than birthday punch in my car if you feel like checking it out.”

  Katie allowed herself the opportunity to look Johnny’s way one more time. He was sitting on a couch, literally buried under the three girls. She could only tell that he was there because of the pair of red Converse on his feet. She couldn’t bear to look anymore. She looked back to Riley. “Yeah, I’m game.”

  Katie had always been a good girl. She’d had no reason not to be. She got along with her parents and had never felt a need to rebel. She had never been to many wild parties, had always hung out with Johnny and his friends, and had been protected. But her heart stung tonight, and she thought being a little bad might be what she needed. She wasn’t sure what was in Riley’s car, but she knew it wasn’t something he wanted to share with an entire crowd. And she didn’t care.

  “That’s the spirit.” As they wound their way through the crowd, Riley interlaced his warm fingers through hers as though leading her through an impossible maze until they hit the cool night air. Her hand in his felt nice, reassuring. It was what she needed right now. Outside, away from the stuffy, sweaty basement room, it smelled like plum blossoms and felt new and fresh. Katie drew in a deep breath as the air hit her cheeks. A small tear escaped, but she doubted Riley would notice. They walked a few doors down from the house that was packed with vehicles until they reached Riley’s car. He opened the passenger door of his blue Mustang for Katie and then walked over to the other side. He reached under the driver’s seat and pulled out a bottle. “Want some JD?” Katie supposed he’d managed to talk one of the bars where he’d played into giving him a bottle. He was the frontman and got crazy amounts of attention—Katie had seen that—and even grown adults threw themselves all over him. It was crazy. But it was what it was.

  “Sure.” Katie shrugged, as though she had a shot every day with lunch. He opened the bottle and took a sip, then handed it to her. She let the tiniest trickle into her mouth, and as it flowed into her throat, she closed her eyes and lay her head back against the headrest.

  “Good stuff, huh?” Riley screwed the lid ba
ck on and didn’t waste any time leaning over to kiss Katie. She’d never really been kissed before, at least not on the mouth, and she was surprised at her body’s rapid response. Riley’s tongue was inside her mouth before she could take her first breath, and his hands gently urged her face towards his. Katie felt her whole body tremble, but Riley didn’t notice. Her nipples hardened and as he continued kissing her, she felt her panties grow wet. Her arms wrapped around his head too, and for the moment she forgot about Johnny What’s-His-Name.

  But she remembered as soon as Riley’s hand started working its way up her t-shirt. She pulled away. “Whoa, whoa.”

  Riley smiled that rock-star smile of his, his sleepy eyes seeming to sparkle in the dark. The only light in the car came from a street light halfway down the block, but it was enough. “Moving a little too fast for you?” Katie nodded. He grabbed the bottle up from the floor. “Here. Have another drink.”

  Katie shook her head. “I don’t think so.” She looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry.”

  “No. No problem.” She was shocked. Maybe she had misjudged Riley because he always acted very cool. But maybe it was only an act. He took another swig from the bottle and put the cap back on. “Do you want me to give you a ride home?”

  She nodded her head. “Yeah. Is that okay?”

  He nodded and slid the keys in the ignition. The engine revved at his touch, and the radio began blaring. Katie grabbed the seat belt and snapped the buckle into place. Well, that was the end of that, she supposed. So she got kissed by Riley once, had actually been excited by that kiss, and he was already disinterested. But she’d misunderstood. Once they were on the road, he turned the radio down. “Do you wanna go out with me?”

  Katie looked over at him. “You mean like out on a date or go out go out?”

  He smiled. “Both.”

  She liked his confidence. She found it stimulating and attractive. She looked over at him, her new boyfriend (what a concept), and took him in. He had brownish-reddish shaggy longish hair, and underneath his ridiculous aviator glasses, his eyes were a deep, dark brown. He had a slight smattering of freckles on his cheeks and a strong jaw. He had wide shoulders and she knew he worked out several days a week. It showed on his chest (which she had only seen bare onstage). And he was all of a sudden after a mere ten minutes of conversation not a two-dimensional character anymore. He was real. And he was sweet. How many girls in the school would hate her guts tomorrow if she walked in the school holding his hand? More importantly, though, how would Johnny feel? “Yeah. I think so.” She saw him smile. “Does that...?” She felt embarrassed, and her voice drifted off.