Fool Me Once (Codie Snow #1): A Romantic Suspense Series Page 11

  “We can never know a person’s private pain, Codie.”

  “Yeah, but…” She allowed herself to trail off because he was right. There was obviously something that had been eating at her friend from the past, something that had changed since they’d last seen each other. Codie supposed part of her guilt stemmed from the fact that she hadn’t reached out in so long, hadn’t kept in contact. Maybe she’d lost a valuable opportunity to be there for someone in need.

  Slade took a left and pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home. She smoothed her dark skirt while she waited for him to walk around to open her passenger door. Because Codie was fiercely independent, Slade was the only man she’d ever allowed to open doors for her. Slade had made her feel like he did it because she was a precious jewel to him, not some weak and helpless waif who needed his help. The first time she’d balked at him holding a door, he’d told her it was an honor and a privilege to serve someone as lovely and deserving and, he’d said, “it in no way diminishes my respect for you.”

  Well, how the hell could she argue with a sentiment like that?

  That had been the night of their first date and Codie, a woman who until then had ordinarily preferred playing the field, found herself entranced by one of the most eligible bachelors in Dalton, a guy chased by lots of women of various ages, her best friend’s boss—and a man most unlike anyone she’d ever dated before.

  Today, his hand on her back felt strong and firm and gave her the wherewithal needed to walk into the chapel area of the mortuary. They found a pew near the back. Codie noticed immediately that the wood of the seats was hard and unforgiving, but she focused her eyes on the people in the room instead. In a town the size of Dalton, she would have thought she’d know most of the citizens, but that was never the case, and she hardly recognized anyone there. She did see a couple of medical professionals to the right near the wall about four pews from the front, but she didn’t know their names. The rest of the folks, though, were complete strangers.

  After a few minutes, a kindly-looking middle-aged man stepped up to the podium. He introduced himself as the guy who ran the place, and then he promptly announced that pastor Pat Friedkin, the minister of the International Congregation of the End of Days, was going to speak. Pat was a stately guy who wore a suit that fit just right—and he was in decent shape but looked like he was going to turn doughy at any moment. His dark hair was coiffed like a businessman and his brow appeared to be ready to glisten with sweat in the next minute or so.

  Codie didn’t know what to expect but the guy definitely had her attention. “Friends and family and brothers and sisters in Christ, thank you for attending the celebration of life for Michelle Marie Clark Dinsmoor. Her time on this earth was short lived, but her impact on the people who knew and loved her was deep and will live on for eternity.” He paused for emphasis, and impulsively, Codie grabbed Slade’s hand and squeezed it, as if she needed a strength that only he could give her. She looked in his eyes and his dark ones overflowed with compassion, something Slade did not give readily. Codie gave him a slight smile, relishing how his hand squeezed hers as if to tell her it would be all right.

  The pastor continued. “While Michelle was part of my flock, I did not know her as well as I wish I could have. I know that she gave of her time and money, both in her previous work as well as in her mission with her husband Caleb. And now, I’d like to turn it over to him, her beloved spouse, who wishes to share a few words about his wife.”

  Caleb Dinsmoor looked like a pitiful lost soul. The tall man didn’t seem like the same one Codie had seen last week right after Michelle’s body had been found. Maybe at the time he’d been either in shock or behaving stoically, but he’d actually seemed uninterested at the time…which meant that now he was either acting bereaved or maybe he realized now just what was gone.

  He didn’t look out at the sea of people in the room, instead choosing to stare down at the podium he leaned on for strength. After a long silence, he said into the mike, “Michelle, you were supposed to be with me longer. You were supposed to be by my side and now—” He began sobbing. After a few seconds, the man tried talking again, but his watery words came out as gibberish. It wasn’t long before another man—a guy Codie recognized as Tanner Johnson, a roommate of the Dinsmoors—gently encouraged Caleb to step aside. Caleb nodded and wiped his eyes with a tissue.

  Tanner began speaking, waxing poetic about the woman Michelle Dinsmoor had been as a child, a teen, and a young adult. He spoke of her passion for the church, for those in need, and for her brothers and sisters in the Lord. He talked about how she was a leader for many of the young women of the church, an inspiration to many. And even though he went into a harder subject, that of not knowing of her personal struggles, how her death had come as a shock to all, he seemed detached, almost like an actor who’d memorized the lines but had no idea how to put the emotional punch behind them.

  Codie wondered if she was the only one who caught that.

  Chapter Eighteen

  CODIE FELT INTENSE relief when, after the funeral, Slade asked if she wanted to go to the graveside service or skip it. As much as she wanted to pay homage to Michelle’s memory, Codie had cried enough that day and needed to let it go. Standing and weeping at the graveside service would take an emotional toll that she didn’t think she could afford to pay.

  Unfortunately, something about the whole funeral stuck in her craw. Rather than giving Codie closure like it should have, it instead made it even harder for her to let go of all the questions in her mind. She couldn’t help but feel like all the men at the podium she’d heard that day were actors in roles, playing parts.

  It made her angry for Michelle. It made her feel sad.

  Slade’s voice broke her out of her thoughts as he pulled his car into the parking lot of her apartment complex. “Need some company for a while?”

  “Um, yeah, that would be nice.”

  It was early afternoon, and she knew Slade was probably itching to get back to the office. He’d probably been calculating all the missed billable hours in his head the whole time. And yet he hadn’t said a word about it.

  As usual, Slade was surprising her. As he closed her car door behind her, she grabbed his hand once again, appreciating the strength she could feel in his grip. They walked up the steps to her place and he said, “This has been really hard on you, huh?”

  “Yeah. I’m not sure why.” Okay, so that wasn’t entirely true. She knew why—it was just that there were so many reasons she didn’t feel like explaining to her ex.

  She unlocked the door to her apartment and dropped her purse on the kitchen counter. “Would you like some coffee?”

  “No.” Slade strode toward her and she felt her body stiffen, her nipples harden. His presence was commanding and just spending time with him today had reminded her of all the reasons why she’d fallen in love with him years ago. He was kind and sweet when he wanted to be but, more than that, he was handsome and hot and strong. Her body knew. Her body remembered and longed for his touch.

  And, somehow, Slade already knew that.

  He laced his fingers through her hair, holding her head in his hands. “I know what I’d like—but only if you want it too.”

  Her voice sounded weak and like a young girl to her own ears. “Don’t you have to go back to work?”

  “Fuck work. It can wait.”

  She blinked and tried to swallow as his lips ground into hers, and she felt herself let go, giving herself to him completely. He was what she wanted, what she needed—and, somehow, he was everything right this moment.

  And he knew it.

  Oh. As infuriating as Slade could often be—and as frequently as he got under her skin—Codie also remembered just what kind of chemistry they had. His kiss made her feel like a woman from her head to her toes…but mainly where it counted most. Not only were her mind and lips remembering how much they loved Slade…so were her lady parts.

  His tongue teased her lips before dan
cing with hers, but he only kissed her long enough to warm her up. As soon as he knew her mind was no longer dwelling on the funeral and had turned to the naughty thoughts he’d conjured up, his lips moved to her neck, leaving a trail of damp, feathery kisses before nibbling her earlobe. But just as Codie had settled into that level of heat, he drifted downward, tracing her collarbone with the tip of his tongue.

  And there was no denying his effect on her. She was letting out a moan just as he lifted her up and set her ass on the table. But she couldn’t keep up. She felt his warm, strong hand moving up the inside of her thigh and, in response, she felt the muscles in her pussy tighten, begging for the release that she knew Slade could give her.

  As his fingers tiptoed over her lacy panties and he hooked his fingers just over the top of the elastic, she drew in a deep breath. That was when he nibbled on her lower lip. “Lie down,” he commanded.

  Not that she was about to disobey at this point. Nope. She was a willing slave.

  She hadn’t completely lost her senses, though, and peeked behind her to make sure she wouldn’t be lying down on a greasy plate or a glass half full with water. The table was cleared off, though, one of the many benefits of having Matthew, the neat freak, as a roommate, and she reclined on the hard wooden surface.

  Slade had pushed her skirt up to her waist, even though it would have been easier to pull it off, and he was now removing her panties.

  As slowly as humanly possible.

  Codie felt herself growing impatient with anticipation, but she didn’t say anything. Slade liked to do things his way in his own time and if she tried to hurry him along, he’d just make the wait more agonizing. She hated to admit it, but that little game he liked to play had led to some of her best orgasms ever…so she couldn’t really complain.

  Hmm. Typical Slade. He left her heels on.

  After he dropped the black panties to the floor, he slid his hands up her legs, his hands firm against her inner thighs, and she felt every muscle tense up as he got closer and closer. Frustrated but eager, Codie closed her eyes and lay back on the table, allowing herself to shove her fingers in Slade’s hair but nothing more.

  She could feel him touching her all around down there, purposely avoiding the one spot she wanted him to touch, and then she could feel his hot breath. Her pussy clenched again in response. If it could talk, it would be telling him to stop dicking around already.

  But, seconds later, she felt a hint of relief as his scorching tongue tickled her clit, teasing her with a promise of much more to come. A long, low moan flowed from her lungs as if telling him to stay on track.

  Not a word, though.

  He knew…and after teasing her for what he’d felt was the proper amount of time, he began a steady, slow course of strokes with his tongue—exquisitely timed, perfectly executed—and there was no stopping now. The build was excruciating yet delicious, reminding Codie of just how well Slade knew her body.

  It wasn’t until she was on the verge that she realized how hard her heart was beating, how deep and rapid her breathing had become, but one more suck of air deep into her lungs, and her mind lost it all, let it go, and she cried out, unable to stop her mouth’s visceral response to his attention. Wave after wave of euphoria crashed into her until she had no more to give.

  Slade gave her a few seconds to recover, but then his hands were cupping her ass, dragging her down off the table. She thought he was going to kiss her, but he instead turned her around. Ah…he wasn’t done yet. She knew that had she told him she didn’t want to, he wouldn’t have…but until she did, he was going to take her.

  She wanted him. She wanted him to take her. Her body had missed him.

  Codie registered that he was putting on a condom first. Good boy, Slade. But then, before he shoved his cock inside her from behind, she felt his fingers touching her again.

  Holy shit. She was going to come again. And soon.

  With his other hand, he grabbed her hair in a fist, not so it hurt, but so he could move her head around with ease. He turned her skull just enough that he could press his lips into her ear. And then he growled. “I love how your pussy is always primed for me, Codie.”

  God, was it ever. It had its own sense memory.

  And as he entered her from behind, it clenched against him, bringing her quickly to another orgasm.

  Yeah…her ex knew her all too well.

  * * *

  Slade held Codie close in her bed as the bright afternoon sun poured through the window, warming her shoulder. “Thanks for today, Slade.”

  “Yeah.” She felt his lips kiss the back of her neck, sending a slight shiver down her spine. “Glad I could do it.”

  “You have to go to work now?”

  “Yeah. Matthew’s probably ready to kill me. He’s been blowing up my phone with text messages.”

  Codie rolled over to look at him. “Oh, shit. You know I’ll hear about that tonight, don’t you?”

  Slade’s trademark smirk slid over his face. “Not if I’m here with you when he is.”

  Oh. She forced a soft smile. “You’re planning to be here? Don’t you have a lot of work to do?”

  “Well…I thought maybe we should have an official get-back-together meal. Matthew would love to be part of that. And then he can find something else to devote his nurturing side to.”

  “Get back together.” Codie let the words roll around in her brain pan for a moment. “Yeah, that would be nice. But…”

  Slade raised his eyebrows. “But?”

  “You know what.”

  He sighed as he sat up in her bed. Jesus. This scenario was getting all too familiar. She just couldn’t believe how quickly it was happening already: Make him uncomfortable, talk about her needs, and boom! He was gone in a flash. “Codie, just the fact that I want to be with you should be assurance enough that I want to be with you…that I don’t want anyone else. I don’t know why you need more.” Spoken like the expert courtroom lawyer he’d become.

  “Because, Slade. We’ve been together for how long?”

  “Including all the breakups?” Codie shrugged. “Off and on again, it’s been what? Close to four years? Maybe five.”

  “Yeah. I could have earned a bachelor’s degree in that time. Had several babies. Travelled the world over. On foot.”

  “Codie—” He was talking, but he was out of bed, sliding on his boxers. Probably preparing his closing statement.

  She stood as well, not caring that she was completely naked and that her second story window drapes were wide open. “Slade, I don’t think it’s too much to ask: What does our future together look like?”

  He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Not fair. I can’t concentrate while you have the twins out.”

  Codie couldn’t laugh, even though his remark was meant to be lighthearted and funny. She picked up her robe off the post on her bed and pulled it over her shoulders, knowing full well he could still see enough through it that he could find her body distracting. “Dammit, Slade. I’ve seen the way you operate in court. I call bullshit. You’re a commitment phobe.” He shook his head while zipping up his slacks. “Either that, or you’re just waiting for something better—someone better to come along.” Codie sucked down a deep breath. “Oh, my God. That’s it. Your dad probably has an arranged marriage for you, but who can resist a steady squeeze until the wedding day?”

  “Oh, Codie, come on. You know that’s not true. You’re emotional, honey.”

  “Yes, I’m emotional, but I’m tired of being jerked around, Slade. I don’t think it’s too much to ask. I’m not asking for your hand in marriage. I just want to know what to expect in my future. I don’t want to wake up twenty years from now, unable to have kids, dumped for a younger woman, and realize I could have had more, something better.”

  Slade paused in buttoning up his shirt and eyeballed her, one eyebrow raised. “You think there’s something better?”

  An evil part of her wanted to tell him about Pete, but the rest of
her—including the part deep down that actually liked Pete in spite of his being yet another commitment-phobe—wanted to keep him and her short-lived fling with him secret. So she merely added, “I never said that, Slade. But yeah. Someone who would commit—I think that would be better. A thousand times better.” She let her voice cool to below room temperature before adding, “I deserve better.”

  Slade clearly thought he was the best, and she could tell from his eyes that had grown dark as coal. “Then see what you can do. Good luck with that.”

  She couldn’t kick his ass out of her apartment fast enough.

  Fucker.

  Chapter Nineteen

  CODIE AWOKE AFTER having an intense realistic dream. In her head, she’d seen Pastor Pat Friedkin, his brow sweaty, his jaw clenched when not belting out a sermon-like chant. He kept saying to Codie over and over, “How can we serve Michelle’s memory now that she’s gone?”

  What had awakened her, though, had been the slick Tanner Johnson. “We didn’t know about her personal struggles. Now she’s gone and we can’t help her.”

  As she shook off the cobwebs, Codie felt inspiration, felt like maybe she could help her old acquaintance. Maybe by discovering what had made the young woman feel hopeless enough to take her own life, she could find peace.

  One of them had to.

  She heard Matthew open the front door, and Codie knew either he was heading out for his morning jog or just returning. She glanced at the clock and saw that she was on the verge of oversleeping, so she sat up and stretched. She didn’t know that she would have wanted to go back to sleep now anyway. The pastor and Tanner made for haunted dreams.