Rock Bottom (Bullet) Page 10

  He would find out soon enough.

  * * *

  Jenna was irritated with herself that she was looking forward to the concert more than she should have. She was supposed to keep her feelings out of it. She was going as Ethan’s friend.

  But who was she kidding? She hadn’t been able to think of him as just a friend since that incredible kiss they’d shared a few weeks ago.

  So she slid most of the clothes in her closet to the right side to get to the ones at the far left…the ones she hardly ever wore, the ones she couldn’t wear for her job: her metal chick clothes. She had a black sleeveless vinyl vest that wasn’t too hot, mainly because it was sleeveless. That with jeans and black boots and she’d be set.

  Yes, now he’d see some of her tattoos. Every one of them was above where a short sleeve cut off, so when she wore sleeveless shirts to work, she wore a jacket over them when she was talking with a client. She realized business culture had relaxed over the past ten years, but she’d also been lectured by college profs who’d warned her about too much body art. So she’d kept it hidden, where it was safe. Now, though, her flowers-and-vines armband on her left arm was apparent as were the thorny roses on her right upper arm. He wouldn’t be able to see all of them, but he’d see enough to know who she really was.

  She was one of them.

  He knocked on her door, and she took one last deep breath. She took a swig of water and walked toward the entrance to her apartment. She had her phone, her keys, and some cash, and that was all she needed.

  She opened the door and there he was. Wow. He really looked good. His eyes were dark, but there was a sparkle to them. He was wearing a black Children of Bodom t-shirt and holy shit…black leather pants that left little to the imagination. Yeah. This was going to be difficult. He didn’t look much different from the way he did day to day, but his hair was a little messier than usual and he just looked…well, almost happy. She didn’t know that she’d ever seen that shine in his eyes.

  She smiled and stepped out into the hallway. “I’m ready.”

  He had a mock look of disappointment on his face. “Not inviting me in for a few minutes?”

  “We don’t want to be late, do we?” He shrugged and started walking down the hall beside her.

  “I’d be late for that.”

  “There’s nothing to see anyway. My apartment’s pretty boring.”

  “I doubt that.”

  She looked over at him before they started walking down the stairs. “If you behave yourself, I might let you in for a few minutes after the concert.” He raised his eyebrows and found it harder to keep up with her after that.

  * * *

  When they got to The Bluebird, Jenna saw that the band they’d come to see wasn’t the headlining band. They were first, though, and they were great. They were halfway through their set when the two guitarists announced that they were going to do a battle. Both men were incredible on their axes, and Jenna didn’t know which guitarist’s style she preferred. They both had some mean solo material, but after several back-and-forths, it became apparent that the one on the right was going to win. Jenna didn’t care and cheered loudly for both of them.

  Ethan smiled at her, enjoying her enthusiasm. She hadn’t been to a concert in so long, and she found herself getting lost in the music, the energy, and the freedom she was starting to feel. She and Ethan had been headbanging for most of the concert, but the next song was a slower one. She was feeling almost drunk experiencing the music, so she didn’t object one bit when Ethan stood behind her and pulled her back into his body. His hands were pressed flat against her belly, and she couldn’t believe how much she loved the feel of him up against her. She hadn’t felt a man up against her in a long time and it felt…good. Too good. It was stirring inside her desires better left unexplored.

  The guitar solo started, and it was a beautiful mesh of heavy bass and drums laying down a lifeline for the guitar singing its song. It was emotional and hard, and had Jenna not been feeling so amorous, it might have moved her to tears. It was affecting Ethan too; she could tell. He had been swaying their bodies side to side slightly, but he’d paused at the onset of the solo. He bent his head over and whispered in her ear. “Good stuff, huh?”

  The high she was feeling only allowed her to nod almost imperceptibly, and it took everything she had to not turn her head more to kiss him. His body was hot up against hers, and she felt like it was just foreplay. In the back of her mind, she knew she shouldn’t go there, but it was too late. Her heartbeat seemed to match the bass drum, her breathing the sustained guitar notes at the end of the solo.

  At the end of the song, Ethan loosened his hold on her but didn’t let go entirely, and she decided to not make a big production out of it. Against her better judgment, she stayed in place.

  * * *

  They talked music in his truck on the way back to her apartment. Music was a safe topic. What he’d been feeling while holding her was not. He could tell she didn’t want to talk about it, and he couldn’t quite read her eyes, but he thought maybe she’d felt something too, something more than she’d wanted to.

  He planned to take advantage of that if he could. What they’d experienced together a few weeks ago hadn’t been a fluke. It had been real…but as time elapsed, he was starting to doubt it. He needed to know for sure, because if she really wasn’t interested, he didn’t want to force himself on her…and he’d need to find a way to move on.

  When he got to her apartment building, he parked on the street, glad it was past the time he had to throw money in the meter. He almost laughed because she was sliding out of the truck long before he could get over to the passenger side to open the door. He never knew what to do for women. Some of them expected him to hold the door, pull out their chairs, open the passenger door, all that good stuff, and other women gave him crusties for even trying. Jenna was neither, but she was independent. He liked that. She was definitely not high maintenance. He’d never done well with those types. That didn’t mean he couldn’t give a woman the attention she deserved (and he didn’t mind opening a door for her either), but he appreciated not potentially fucking up for having forgotten something a woman deemed important.

  He might not have been able to open her door for her, but he did meet her in front of his truck. He wasn’t even going to ask if he could walk her to her apartment. He just assumed she’d like that and, if she didn’t, she could say so.

  He was hoping she’d invite him in for a few minutes…

  Or a few hours.

  They were strangely quiet walking up the stairs to her apartment. When they got to her door, she looked up at Ethan and said, “Thanks for the concert. I had a great time.”

  A small smirk turned up the corner of his lips. “I was kinda hoping you’d ask me in for a while.”

  She searched his eyes. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

  Couldn’t blame a guy for trying. “Can I at least get a kiss good night?”

  Jenna looked more fragile than she’d ever seemed before as she considered his words. “I guess.”

  Well, that wasn’t exactly inspiring his confidence, but he could see through her feigned indifference. Either she was really afraid of what that kiss was going to ignite, or she just didn’t want to kiss him. He believed it was the former, because he couldn’t believe she didn’t care. He moved his head closer to hers, and she lifted her chin as her eyes began to flutter closed. As his lips touched hers, he felt her hands move to his chest, but she laid them on his pecs as though to push him away if things got a little too warm for her.

  He decided at the last second to keep things rated G. He hadn’t cared about someone like this in a long time—not since Valerie—and he didn’t want to rush it if she wasn’t ready. He could wait. It wasn’t like he couldn’t have sex anytime he wanted. He knew that.

  So it surprised the hell out of him when he felt her tongue on his lips, coaxing his tongue out to play. That was a green light if there ever was
one. He let his tongue dance with hers, just letting himself do what felt natural. He had to reign it in some, though, because his blood was already flowing faster than it should, and it was heading to the one place it needed to avoid for a while. This was probably all he would get tonight, a simple kiss, whether hot or not, and he needed to be happy with it. And if he had to jerk off later at home alone, so be it. But he didn’t want to get hard right now and then have no release.

  Still…damn. She tasted sweet, and she was moving her hands up his pecs to his neck. It felt way too hot. So he couldn’t help himself. The kiss could have naturally ended, but he kissed her again, making sure his hands stayed in place on her lower back. He was going to let her continue making the moves, because he didn’t trust himself.

  Goddamn. She was moving her fingers into his hair, and then all he could think of was her pulling it, begging him to fuck her. Oh, God, this was bad. Much longer and he wouldn’t be able to think straight.

  Chapter Fifteen

  JENNA KNEW AS soon as it started that she shouldn’t have told Ethan he could kiss her. That was it. She now wanted him desperately, and unless someone pulled the fire alarm, something serious was going to happen between them tonight.

  It would probably be as hot as a fire and just as dangerous.

  The second his lips touched hers, she let herself go. She kissed him back hard and wound her fingers through his hair.

  She was going to break her own promise to herself, that impossible promise she’d made over a year ago. She’d known celibacy would be unlikely, but she knew she had to save herself. Now, though, she didn’t know if denying herself the pleasure of this man was salvation or torture. She knew, underneath it all, that Ethan was a good guy, but she also suspected, just from what he’d said, that he hadn’t been a nice person when he’d been under the influence. Still…he was trying now, and that meant something. It meant everything. So she wasn’t about to stop him, not now.

  When he did come up for air, though, she tried not to make it obvious that he’d almost winded her. She took a deep breath and smiled. “Okay, so I guess I’ll invite you in for a while.” He smiled and cocked his head but didn’t say a word, and she turned around and opened the door.

  She flipped the switch that turned on the light. One thing she didn’t like about her apartment but couldn’t change was that the kitchen was the first room when she opened the door. She didn’t like it because she felt like she had to keep it pristine at all times. She was glad the dishes were done. She would sometimes have one or two rinsed dishes in the sink, but tonight she’d made sure everything was clean before leaving. The living room was off to the left and she usually felt as though it had to constantly look nice as well. The couch created a bit of a break between the two spaces.

  Unfortunately, she was thinking more about a room in the back of her apartment.

  She walked toward the fridge as she heard Ethan close the front door. “Can I get you anything to drink? Should I make some coffee?”

  She turned around to face him, her fingers still on the handle to the refrigerator. He had a bit of a devilish grin on his face, and she suspected she knew his thoughts. Damn, he was a good-looking guy. His longish hair framed his gorgeous face, and she knew from the videos that she’d seen that his hair often covered much of his face when he played; even if it hadn’t, he didn’t seem to notice or even care about the camera. Here and now, though, he was in the moment and looking straight at her with his intense green eyes. She felt as though he could see her every thought, her hidden intentions. Maybe that was okay, because she didn’t want to have to beat around the bush or act coy.

  She could still feel his stubble burning her face from their kiss moments earlier. She wanted to feel that sensation all over her body. She felt a shiver begin crawling up her spine as she imagined it, and she almost blushed, believing he really knew what she was thinking.

  Ethan took two steps closer to her. “Can I be honest with you?”

  Jenna hoped her voice wouldn’t give her away. She had to be the cool, direct professional Ethan knew. “Haven’t we always been?”

  His smile lost its little boy quality and looked ravenous as he took another step toward her. It was then that she realized, taking in a breath, that she couldn’t hit the bottom of her lungs. He’d taken away her ability to breathe. He said, “I told you a few weeks ago that I wanted to fuck you and now…I don’t.” She felt her breath catch in her throat again as her heart sank. She knew she wasn’t letting it show on her face and that was good, but he continued. “Well, okay, I guess that’s not entirely true. I do want to…but I’m not going to be satisfied with just a quick lay. I want to try you every way you’ll take me.”

  Oh. By that point, he was right in front of her and there was no way she would say no now. She wanted him, needed him desperately. She wouldn’t be satisfied with just a hop in the sack either, even though it would be safest for her own state of mind. Without any thought, she grabbed him around the neck with her hand and pulled his head down to hers. This time, she locked her lips on his first and shoved her tongue in his mouth. Even if her mind was still grappling with the idea of consequences later, her body was in charge and wanted Ethan worse than she’d ever wanted anyone.

  She should have but didn’t freak out when she realized her panties were already wet. She hadn’t felt that sensation in a while. He took her aggression in stride, placing his hands on her ass and pulling her body into his while she wound her fingers into his hair. He tasted sweet, so sweet, and the back of her mind kept nudging her, telling her he tasted so delectable because he was forbidden fruit.

  She pushed the thought further back in her mind and continued kissing him with force as though being rough could erase the things in her head.

  Instead, it just made it clearer to her that Ethan might be perfect for her, because he was keeping up with her pace. He wasn’t shying away, instead seemed to be lapping up whatever she could give to him. He was squeezing her ass, and that was the signal to her that he knew exactly what she was thinking. She wanted to scream at him right then to just fuck her and get it over with. She couldn’t shut her brain up enough to just enjoy what he was doing.

  But then he took her lower lip into his mouth, sucking on it, savoring it slowly, and she could feel his teeth against her, just grazing her skin. She couldn’t help the breath that escaped her mouth. She wanted him to do that all over her body.

  She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as he released her lip, and she had to open her eyes to see what he wasn’t doing. Yes, wasn’t, because he’d stopped. Her eyes met his and he looked like a wild animal, like he could consume her with his passion, and she felt her eyes respond in kind. She inhaled sharply and she could see it register in his eyes. He could tell how badly she craved him and those hands on her ass lifted her up as though she were instead a tiny kitten weighing nothing. Maybe Ethan didn’t know she was actually a wildcat ready to tear him apart.

  The way he held her, she was wrapped around him like a glove, and his cock was pressing right into her sweet spot. She gasped again and saw a sly smile cross his face. He pressed her into the refrigerator, his mouth coming down on her again, forcing the air to flood out of her lungs.

  His tongue was hot and smooth as he took over, dominating her mouth with his. She felt weak and helpless, her muscles all of a sudden drained so that he could do anything he wanted with her. He moved his lips to her neck, and she tilted her head to the side. Her fingers were still wound tightly through his hair, and she realized she was probably pulling too hard, but it was like she couldn’t help it. She heard him whisper, “Oh, yeah, baby.” He nipped at her neck and then slammed into her with another kiss that winded her once again. Then he pressed his forehead against hers, and his eyes were so intense, she thought he’d bore a hole through to the back of her head. “You got a bed in this place?”

  Holy fuck. So it really was gonna happen, and he wasn’t going to tiptoe around it either. She found that
his directness just made her hotter. She nodded her head to the side and back in the direction of her bedroom. He pulled her up higher on him and walked in the direction she’d pointed.

  He found the right room, but it was dark. He placed her on her feet, and she felt for the light switch and turned it on. He grabbed his t-shirt at the bottom and started pulling it over his head. Jenna couldn’t help herself, especially at the sight of all the colorful tattoos she’d never seen up close and in person, and she kissed his pec. She didn’t stop there, though. She traced her tongue across his chest to the nipple on the other side and circled it with her tongue until she felt his hands cupping her cheeks, bringing her mouth back to his. She felt like he was consuming her, like there would be none of her left when they were done, and she didn’t care, because she hadn’t felt this alive in a long time. Her greedy fingers were gliding over his back, appreciating the hardened flesh. She could tell just by feeling his body that Ethan had been trying to take care of himself since recovery. He had enough flesh and muscle on his bones that she knew he was eating right and exercising. She hoped he would keep that up.

  And just as she was beginning to wonder why her mind was focused on that particular bit of information, she felt Ethan’s fingers move to the zipper on the front of her vest. She could almost feel the blood surging through her veins as her skin became sensitized, yearning for his touch. He stopped kissing her and stood back a bit. “Am I gonna find any surprises under here?”

  She couldn’t help it. She let out a breathy laugh. “What? Like I’m really a she-male or something?”

  He started laughing and kissed her. “No.” He looked at his hands as they pulled the zipper down so slowly, she could feel the ache building in her pussy, the one that desperately needed him. “More tats or something else you don’t want anyone else to see?”